ENJOY THIS PREVIEW OF MY NEW DVD "JEFFREY ROSS: NO OFFENSE - LIVE FROM NEW JERSEY IN STORES ON OCT. 14TH. YOU CAN PRE-ORDER AT AMAZON.COM ..
MTV ONCE INTRODUCED ME AS "A ONE MAN VERBAL ASSAULT UNIT". JIMMY KIMMEL CALLS ME, "THE ROASTMASTER GENERAL" AND NEW YORK MAGAZINE CROWNED ME "THE MEANEST MAN IN COMEDY". RECENTLY THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE SAID, " IF INSULTING SOMEONE IS AN ART FORM, THEN JEFFREY ROSS IS PABLO PICASSO". THAT’S RIGHT MOFO’S! DON’T MESS WITH ME!CHECK OUT MY ROAST OF WILLIAM SHATNER RIGHT HERE! ..
Website
TheRoastmasterGeneral.com
Influences
MY RECENT APPEARANCE ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE RIGHT HERE!
DR. KATZ NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD!
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These are some pics of me on the road, etc.
Members
These are some organizations that I either belong to or support.
(U.S.O.) Support our troops!
(W.G.A.) Writer’s Guild of America
N.Y. Friars Club,
(I.D.A.) International Documentary Association,
The Saturn Awards, The Creative Coaliton.
S.A.G. Screen Actor’s Guild, Aftra,
Walter Reed Hopital, Bethesda Medical Center,
Simon Weisenthal Center,
Meals On Wheels,
Scleroderma Research Foundation,
Buddy Hackett’s Singita Animal Sanctuary
Wounded Warrior Project
TV Shows
.I made my stand-up TV debut on "Letterman". i was murdered on "C.S.I." I’ve also been on "Six Feet Under", "Weeds", and most of the late night shows. I’ve also written for some of my favorite comics including Billy Crystal when he hosted the Academy Awards in 2000 and Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx when they each hosted the MTV Music Awards. I also helped write the first season of The Man Show (best job ever). WATCH MY MOST RECENT APPEARANCE ON "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" RIGHT HERE! ..>
Films
occasionally
Albums
MY DVD, "PATRIOT ACT: A JEFFREY ROSS HOME MOVIE" IS NOW AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM AND NETFLIX.
JEFFREY ROSS's Interests
General
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE ROAST JOKES...
"I WOULDN'T FUCK YOU WITH BEA ARHTUR'S DICK".
"SHAQ, YOU'RE KNUCKLES LOOK SCRAPED. DID YOU WALK HERE?"
"DREW CAREY IS TO COMEDY WHAT MARIAH CAREY IS TO COMEDY".
"WILLIAM SHATNER, YOU HAVE REALLY LET YOURSELF BOLDLY GO".
"HOW IS POSSIBLE THAT COURTNEY LOVE LOOKS WORSE THAN KURT COBAIN?"
Music
Recently saw Brian Wilson play with the LA Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl. Real fun. Also saw Counting Crows and Maroon Five when they were in Irvine, CA. Lately I've been listening to Man of La Mancha soundtrack, Gogol Bordello, John Mayer, Kiss, The Clash, Bob Dylan, The Who's Tommy, and some crazy drummer tribute thing that Eddie Goredetsky gave me. I hope I never hear "Play That Funky Music" again because that's the song I lost to on Dancing With The Stars.
Movies
CHECK OUT THIS REVIEW FROM THE JUNE 7TH TAPING OF MY COMEDY CENTRAL STAND-UP SPECIAL...
Comedian Ross leaves no member of audience uninsulted at Borgata
By SCOTT CRONICK At The Shore, 609-272-7017
Published: Sunday, June 08, 2008
ATLANTIC CITY - Why did Jeffrey Ross wait so long? That's the only question that can be posed after Ross made his New Jersey stand-up debut Saturday night at Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa.
The comedian, actor and writer, best known for his roastmaster duties on Comedy Central roasts of Flavor Flav, Pam Anderson and others, was brilliantly funny.
Ross, who last appeared in Atlantic City as the host of ESPN's "Mike & Mike Show" at the House of Blues earlier this year, showed he can do much more than insult people, although he did some of that, too.
In fact, that's what made Ross' show so funny. His ability to rip into people is certainly in a class with Don Rickles, but he also is a stellar stand-up comic. Combine the two abilities and you have one great performer.
Ross, who greeted the crowd by telling them he never performed in New Jersey before because he "never felt ready," was certainly on top of his game Saturday.
The insults were in abundance as he picked on crowd members, particularly regarding their clothing choices.
"Thanks for wearing your good flip-flops," he told one young male audience member. "Jesus Christ had better footwear than you."
Holding a gold microphone and wearing a black leather suit with shiny gold snakeskin boots, the Newark native clearly felt at home, especially when offering some Jersey jokes.
"Borgata is an old French word," he said. "It means three ---ing hours on the Garden State Parkway. Jersey is tough. At 10 I had to learn to breathe through my eyes."
With a friendly crowd full of friends and family for his homecoming, Ross tackled subjects ranging from high school to airport security to politics.
"I was elected in my senior class the most likely to fart during sit-ups," he said.
"They confiscated my cigar cutter. What am I going to do, circumcise the passengers?"
Of course, most of Ross' best material was raunchy, littered with words that had a few Borgata players walking out. Once in a while, he kept it relatively clean.
On a porn actress asking him out: "She said, 'I'm working on Tuesday and Wednesday. How about we go out Thursday?' I was like, 'How about Monday?'"
Most comics absolutely bomb when they get involved in audience participation, but Ross is the rare comic who actually makes it work. Toward the end of the show, the comedian brought two volunteer musicians to accompany him while he read ridiculous poems. Ross found gold in "Larry the tollbooth guy," whom Ross guessed was a "food critic for High Times magazine."
Hefty with a neon blue sweatshirt and matching argyle socks, the talented, bald pianist helped Ross end the night with a bang, resulting in a standing ovation. PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY___________________________________________________________
THE NEW YORK POST GIVES MY FILM A FOUR STAR REVIEW! ****
LAUGHING THROUGH BAGHDAD
COMIC'S HOME MOVIES OF WAR
By Adam Buckman
Published: May 26, 2006
THE best documentary to emerge so far from the Iraq War comes from an unexpected source.
It is comedian Jeffrey Ross, a sad sack with a high-pitched voice and a face like Walter Matthau's.
He's been around for years and is perhaps best known for his participation in Friars' roasts.
And now, he deserves to be best known for something else - his personal, videotaped account of a trip he made to Iraq to entertain American troops.
The film he made - titled "Patriot Act: A Jeffrey Ross Home Movie" and running just an hour and a quarter - reveals that Ross is as observant a journalist as he is a comedian, something he might not even realize.
What is clear is this: When he was invited by his friend, Drew Carey, to join him on a one-week USO tour of Iraq in fall 2003, along with a handful of other comedians, Ross saw an opportunity to produce something worthwhile from the experience.
So he ran a camcorder throughout the entire trip and later created this documentary, which is as touching as it is hilarious.
Its hilarity stems from Ross' running commentary throughout the film, and the performances of the comedians before appreciative crowds of servicemen and -women at bases and camps all over Iraq, some of them on the frontier and within range of enemy mortars.
Although it's Ross' movie, he gives ample screen time to all of the comedians on the tour, who besides Carey and himself included Blake Clark, Kyle Dunnigan, Andres Fernandez and Rocky Laporte.
Actress Kathy Kinney, who played Mimi on "The Drew Carey Show" was also on hand.
And writer Larry Gelbart, who wrote 40 episodes of "M*A*S*H," appears in the movie (but is not part of the tour) to give Ross some sage advice about USO shows. Gelbart should know - he wrote for and traveled with Bob Hope.
The touching part is what Ross learned. "I am starting to get why Bob Hope did this for so long, because these were the best crowds I ever performed for," Ross says at the film's conclusion. "Every single GI that I met thanked me for coming, but I should have been thanking them because if anyone got a morale boost, it was me."
Television
Played a dead guy on "C.S.I.",
Played a stoner on "Weeds",
Played the friend of a dead guy on "Six Feet Under"
Played security guards in "Stuck On You", "National Security", and "Greg The Bunny".
Played myself in "The Aristocrats" and "The Sarah Silverman Program".
Books
SHOWBIZ AUTOBIOGRAPHIES...
"Enter Talking" bY Joan Rivers
"Enter Bleeding" by Johnny Knoxville
"Yes I Can" by Sammy Davis Jr.
"No I Can't" by Ryan Cabrera
Boston University
Boston,Massachusetts
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: broadcasting and film
Minor: political science
Clubs: MUSIC DIRECTOR, WTBU RADIO 640 AM
About me: ROASTING WITH THE STARS!
WHAT A BUSINESS! VOTED OFF FIRST ON DANCING WITH THE STARS AND THEN PRANKED BY "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
Who I'd like to meet: I ONLY ROAST THE ONE'S I LOVE! CLICK HERE AND WATCH MY INFAMOUS ROAST OF DALLAS COWBOY STAR EMMIT SMITH -- LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS! IT'S COLDBLOODED!
Thanks for the add Jeffery, I frekin love that No Offense show. You are the shyit. I love you r comedy. You ripped the stage. Keep in touch man, keep up your comedy. Happy Holidays. -Jake.
happy hannakah! happy kwanza! happy new year! i love you! i seen your no offence it was so damn funny i loved when you were bustin that fat toll booth guys balls it was so funny i was laughing so hard! i love you be safe and stay funny and black! LOL!
My daughter and I really liked your set at the Laugh Factory on Christmas Day. You'll remember my daughter is the one you commented on laughing at your Telethon bit.
Great job keeping them homeless animals under control. Here's a picture of her getting an eye full of them. Low light, but the shock on her face is funny.
